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Who knew that "What do you do?" was such a loaded question. John and I attended a 'Hail and Farewell' Battalion social function last night. Attending these sort of events is not uncommon, military protocol requires that the top leadership of companies and battalions meet together like this to socialize quite often- something that is not reflected much in the civilian world. So, we were chatting with another couple- with a 4 month old and both parents working. They're nice folks and I was enjoying the conversation. Then the husband says "So, What do you do?". We had already discussed our children and he knew we have a 5 year old, 3 year old, and 1 year old at home, as well as one on the way. I told him- I'm working on finishing my MA in humanities, and I stay home with my children. He seemed surprised. "I'd go crazy staying at home" he stated, and wanted more information on what I actually DO, and how I stay sane.
Well, I sit at the computer and eat bon-bons all day. I love to wear my jammies all day and just diddle around. Sure.
So, I mentioned that I really enjoy cooking and baking, and being at home allows me the opportunity to enjoy preparing healthy, frugal and tasty meals for my family- instead of rushing home exhausted and stressing over what's for dinner. (I didn't say all of that ( ; ). Being home also allows me the opportunity to read and study about a variety of topics of which I have an interest. Working on my MA also requires what little bit of energy I have, and time. But, would my work be valuable even if I didn't like to cook, or read, and wasn't pursuing further education?
The answer is a resounding yes! My time with my young children is a sacrifice at times, and there are moments when I question my sanity. Cleaning up mess after mess, preparing meal after meal, folding the laundry- again- it all gets old. What I wouldn't give some days for an office full of adults, and responsibilities that I can leave at the door. Conversation with grown people and the feeling of actually accomplishing something (and not having it gone or undone ten minutes later). But, this time nurturing my young children and caring for my household is valuable. By creating an environment of love, learning, and security I am building a foundation for them to grow upon.
My days include all sorts of tasks: charitable acts, study, cooking, cleaning, laundry, reading stories, teaching Christopher, shuttling boys to gymnastics, storytime, MOPS, shopping, research on frugal living and recipes, menu planning, bill paying, budgeting, home organization, and yes, checking blogs and maybe the occasional bon-bon ( : (I wish). But my value in society as a stay at home parent (I also believe John would be a super stay at home parent) is not based upon these tasks, and how well they are all performed, but instead on the end product. Unfortunately, this accomplishment will not be seen for decades. However, I have faith that the creation of a nurturing environment for their bodies, minds and souls will build a foundation for their future success. And that accomplishment is priceless.
Any thoughts? Or similar experiences to share?
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5 comments:
Very well-said, Susie! I agree wholeheartedly (of course!).
I've been thinking about this lately so I thought it was funny that you wrote about this. On our date last week i was actually talking to lars about this and how sometimes i feel so frustrated and stuff and i forget that what I'm doing is really important.
I know your secret life Susie...I've seen those Bon-Bons! (Just kidding!) It was a great post! That is surprising and impressive that he really wanted to know what you DO. Usually people stop asking after I say "I stay home with the kids". It's refreshing when people acknowledge what a challenging job it is to be home with children. And I feel a deep sense of obligation to raise my children. Not just give birth to them and send them to daycare. Though I do understand that in some situations--like a single mom, or a disability--don't allow for the luxury of anyone staying home during the day. And some women just plain love to be in the workforce--though I have other feelings about that. It was kind of fun though, on my mission I served in a really wealthy town--Palos Verdes, CA. It was somewhat of a status symbol to be able to stay home and not have to work because it meant that the spouse who was employed had a good income. Though, that is a very prideful viewpoint of staying home, I did think it was kind of neat. Anyway...I better stop. I might get myself in trouble!
Susie I loved this post! I miss visiting with you too! Thanks for letting me share your life through your blog!
AMEN!
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